I started my annual wandering trips some years ago. I’d spend some focused time hiking and hanging in the desert.
Family, and friends at the time thought I was crazy. I’d receive tips to put a rope around my sleeping bag to prevent snakes from crawling in with me or advice not to dig in the sand because scorpions like to hang there.
I’d notice their raised eyebrows as I’d talk about the importance of this desert time. There is still a place for common sense and practicality, but I was learning those fears didn’t have to be my fears. Throwing a sleeping bag down in the desert and sleeping under the stars had excitement and challenges.
I remember the first night vividly. It was sleepless as I wondered about snakes, tarantulas, and scorpions. Every sound was amplified. My senses were on high alert, on guard. Those external seeds of fears planted by others seemed to become my internal fears. I wasn’t able to enjoy the million dollar star view, and I didn’t relax until I saw the sunrise. I remember that first light of dawn, the beauty of the sky and a feeling of survival followed by a realization all my fears and beliefs were in my mind, followed by an understanding they weren’t initially my fears, but I’d somehow adopted and internalized them.
The second night came with different concerns, not of earthly creepy crawly things, but the ghosts of the desert. I see energy, so I saw a tribe move across the desert. I pulled the sleeping bag up and over my head and willed my body to go to sleep. Once again I was gifted with a brilliant sunrise and a lone crow that circled above me. Natures alarm clock was telling me to get moving. Those fears were mine and could let them go.
Some days later while journaling on the plane home, I realized the gift in that experience. The learning of how to discern my internal fears and the influence of external fears. How quickly either seemed to creep in. I gained new coping skills in handling these fears and anxiety. I had won a profound lesson of trust in myself, my travel buddy and the universe. Releasing fear is freeing, as it allows us to enjoy and experience life in another way.
So it is in life when we work through fears or roadblocks. The universe will find a new, different or more profound way for us to work our barriers. When we say YES to those things, we experience a different level of being, saying NO often holds us in place. There are times it’s important to say NO, and sometimes it’s difficult to discern what the answer should be or COULD be.
Over the years I began to call these trips my wanderings. A valuable time that I reserve just to wander and wonder. To stretch my boundaries, and push myself a bit. Over time it’s taught me to turn off the residue of a corporate-like time-clock and allow the universe to deliver the experience. It’s created space for knowledge, wisdom, and trust to creep in during unexpected times. Like waking up to see a coyote near me, thinking it was a dream, and then finding his scat at the feet of my sleeping bag. Or the experience of my SUV sunroof shattering while going through Albuquerque and observing and later reflecting on the quick actions of my travel mate while I remained in shock. Or after a long hike and a discovery of an off-trail desert ruin, but then realizing my phone had no reception, I’m alone, and no one knows where I am (including me) except my angels and guides. Life is learning and experiencing. This is how we come to know ourselves and others.
This year I will again have purposeful wandering with the intent of observing how I am in the world and how the world is. I know all my experiences will create adventures and opportunities to learn. How I view, these prospects will make the difference in how I experience them and what I learn and what the universe delivers next.
2018 is a year of collaboration, team, and community. It’s a year we step into greater awareness of our being, and that includes intuition. So I look forward to the experiences that teach me in these domains. It’s another year of heart-centered action, so I’m looking forward to using this as my compass.
I invite you to wander in 2018 to create a new experience of wonder.
Happy Heart Month. Shine On! Love and Light – Laurie
Jan 31 – Full Moon & Total Lunar eclipse in Leo – I Will
Feb. 15 – Partial Solar Eclipse in Aquarius – I Know